Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Miscarriage Reflections - Light the Night

Tonight, we lit a candle to commemorate our miscarriage as a part of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. The flame represented not only our loss, but all of losses of friends and family who know this pain first hand. Those who came forward and told us their stories were essential in helping us not feel so alone in this pain and grief. This group of people represents the worst group to be a part (nobody wishes to be in the club) and the best group - because they're among the strongest, kindest folks we've come across.

 
#swellremembers #lightthenightforRue

For those who haven't experienced this loss, but are wondering what you can do to support those who have beyond awareness day/week/month, here's a short list of some of the things that have meant the most to me:

1. Cards and letters - handwritten notes in my mail box helped so much in acknowledging the loss and showing that we were cared for.
2. Care box - a box including tea, bars of chocolate, gossip celebrity mags and comedic dvds was a favorite tangible comfort and a lovely blown glass commemorative hummingbird was another.
3. Texts and emails - especially weeks and months after the miscarriage, just to ask, "How are you?" and knowing they cared about the answer even if it was "Pretty much a hot mess."
4. Wine - not just the bottle itself, but the conversation shared while drinking it.
5. Hug - actions speak louder than words and this physical comfort said so much more than "I'm sorry" ever could (virtual hugs also very welcome!).

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