I'm conflicted about posting this picture. It's my face, my bare face with more acne than either previous picture. It's embarrassing. And yet, it's the face I walk around with each day. It's the face I'm wearing right here in the coffee shop with other real live people looking at me and interacting with me. You are kind enough to be my blog friends. I think you deserve to see my face. I also think you deserve to know what the second week of proactiv+ looked like for me.
Basically, it got worse. It got worse! They always say it will get worse before it gets better. I mean all the acne product people. The products have to get all the deep under the skin blemishes and raise the junk to the surface. I've lived through it before. I think Accutane was the worst with the peeling, flaking skin and the bloodied corners of my mouth. No matter what the worse is, it just feels plain old bad. The promise of it getting better when you see it worsening does not comfort.
Starting week 3, I'm skeptical. It's only half way through my 30 day trial and I feel like quitting. I feel like running to the makeup counter and asking them to paint it all away. I know that it would be a temporary fix though and that my skin won't get healthier by covering it up.
There are worse things in life like starvation, lack of shelter and violence. I know this. I also know a lot of people understand the affect acne has on your psyche and confidence. While I'm not proud that this experiment seems to be failing and it looks like I'll be piling up one more failed attempt at clear skin, I am proud to start reclaiming confidence. This is my face. Whether or not my skin is ever clear of blemishes, I hope above all it registers as a kind face, a warm face and a friendly face.
As I search my face for those markers, I notice myself searching for those markers in other faces too. Blemishes, hair, skin tags, warts and wrinkles all have a way of disappearing on the faces of kind people. If I take this lesson to heart, it was probably worth the $40 proactiv+ price tag.