Monday, May 23, 2011

Feeling Sad (and Mad at not Trusting Myself)

About a week ago, I blogged about an acquaintance and her custody battle.  Prior to blogging it, I was trying to dig to the bottom and find out the truth.  Namely, I requested a copy of the Court Order since it was public information and would include all of the Judge's considerations.  While waiting for it, the news blew up across the nation.  Since I believed that these media outlets would have thoroughly done their fact checking, I felt more comfortable repeating the information on my blog.

Sadly, it was wrong to trust.  Since the initial news broke, there have been a few updates.

This isn't even the most upsetting part to me.  Sure, I'm mad that I didn't hold out on the official documents and that I ended up contributing to the frenzy.  However, I'm VERY sad for the children in this case who seemingly cannot trust either parent to look out for their best interests.  After several astonishing and disappointing custody cases that I've personally seen, I can't help but be discouraged that the rawest end of the deal always goes to the children.  Children don't deserve the relatively more stable parent - they deserve parents who are actually stable. They deserve to be loved and not used as pawns in national media coverage.  

What do you think now?  If you were the judge, what would your decision be?


  1. Don't be too hard on yourself. I think it's really hard to find factual information on any news source these days. I've seen a couple of updates on the story and it is so sad to me. I agree that the children are the ones to lose in this case, not the parents. I don't think I know enough information to make a decision, but I don't think it was right for the judge to involve/include the mother's health in her judgement.

  2. I should add, that being said, I don't think that because the mother has cancer is a reason for her to have custody rights either...

  3. @e.louise - yes, your first comment really underscores why I was so drawn to this case in the first place. That bit sits with me as being VERY unfair and unjust.

  4. I think Liz is right, it's so hard to find out what's true and what's not, so don't beat yourself up over it. It's good that you thought enough about it to look into it before considering blogging it. Ultimately, I hope that things start looking up for the kids. :(

  5. I feel so sorry for those children. They are just the rope in their parents game of tug o' war, and it's sad. I hope the best for them.

  6. I still think you did the right thing. If my friend presented me with a story and was looking for help in any way possible, I would blindingly trust her word and help her. That's what a good friend does. And while MORE facets to this story now seem to have been uncovered, we still don't, and never will, know the whole story.

    I understand your feelings of frustration and sadness, but more, I see what kind of good friend you are by trying to help, by trusting your friend and her plight in her time of need. You can't control other people's actions---only your own.